Friends... At Least That's What They Used To Be

As I go through life, I'm starting to realize that you shouldn't care about how many friends you have, but the quality of the friends you hold dear. There are times when I try and figure out what I've done to make people not want to be friends with me any more, but then I find that I really don't care. I know who my true friends are and I've come to be able to pinpoint those who are just there when they need something from you.

There have been people who have come and gone, and regardless of how it happened, I suppose there's a reason for it. Perhaps we're to learn life lessons from failed attempts. One of the things I don't understand is why some people let their relationships get in the way of their friendships. Nine times out of ten, the person you're letting slip away has been there longer than the person you're dating. As harsh as this may sound, there are people in my life I could take or leave right now. Then again, there are some people who I know I couldn't get through life without and I won't let anything come between those relationships.

I'm sure we've all received those e-mails that say what "true" friends are and that you should pass it along to half of the people you've ever known if you life or you'll get horrible news in the next 5 seconds. To me, there are a few simple things that define a friendship: knowing that you and that other person are there for each other any time, any place; wanting nothing in return for befriending someone; and, even if after not talking on the phone or seeing each other in person for a while, you pick up right where you left off and it's never awkward.

Today, it's no secret that we live in a world where technology basically consumes our lives. I have to say, however, it's the little things from my friends that make my day. Like this morning, for example, a friend and I were going back and forth on Facebook, another friend commented on my status and I'm sure when I'm at work, my IM will be going off at least a few times throughout the day. Just a quick "hello" or asking how some one's day is going can mean the world. I'm sure this is starting to sound like another post I did a while back, but I think it's worth repeating.

Make sure you're in your current friendships for the right reason. Few things hurt more than realizing that you're being or have been used by someone you thought you had a connection with.

Some may come, some may go, but those you can't live without will always be right here...

The Journey They Call Life

I'm kind of one of those people who want to change, but would like to find the most direct route and just get things done and not have to worry about it. As we all know, the universe has a different plan for us. We simply run on a schedule that no one can control, regardless of how hard he or she may try.

I firmly believe that we were all on this earth (regardless of the individual thoughts on how we got here) for a reason. I believe that we are here to make changes in our own lives and a difference in the lives of others. Each of us can make a difference in someones life whether we know it or not. 

Being gay is taking me on a journey that has just only begun, however, I'm not taking this journey on my own. Obviously I have friends that are going along for the ride with me, but I'm also picking up new passengers along the way. We're all a little different for a reason; maybe I'm "different" to show people that, while we are different, we're all the same. Just because I'm gay and you're straight doesn't mean that we don't want the same things or have the same feelings. 

All of the new people that I encounter along the way, I'm going to be teaching them about my life and they about theirs. We are never too young, old, stupid or smart to learn new things. With every story there is a lesson and with a lesson, a story. The lesson that we can learn from a story that was just told may end up saving a life down the road or helping to point someone in a new direction. We're constantly shedding light on new situations that our friends go through, we should extend that courtesy to our acquaintances and those we may have just met.

At times I may not be the best friend in the world or the easiest person to get along with, but as I'm sitting here reflecting tonight, I've learned something from each and every one of those situations. I'm learning how to change to try and be a better person, but I'm not doing it for anyone else. To change, you have to be willing to do it for yourself. If you constantly try and change for other people you're never going to find that you're any better off than you were yesterday. The only person in your life telling you what to do, what you're doing wrong and how you can change should be you. We spend too much time trying to please everyone else and it doesn't get us anywhere. 

In what is going to be a year of change, I hope that you all find what makes you happy. If finding what makes you happy means that you'll have to change one thing or a million, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. And please, whatever you do, keep telling stories, you never know whose life you could change.

Just be happy!

I've learned a lot in the past 20 years, there's no doubt about that. One of the things that I've learned that keeps coming back to me is that you can't please everyone. I'm sure there has been a point in every persons life where they've taken a step back and thought about the decision they were about to make and if it would make someone else happy, angry or even sad. 

Keeping in mind that you only get one to live, you can't constantly try and make everyone else happy. Happiness comes from within. If you're constantly trying to work around other people's emotions and push your own aside, can you ever make yourself happy? At the same time it's important to be a good friend but you can't put your feelings on the back burner. Sometimes you need to be able to decide if the problems your friends are coming to you with are really worth you pondering over and putting your life on hold to help them or whether you need to find some way out of helping them. If you're able to do that, which a lot of the time I'm not, some people might see that as you not caring and you're being a bad friend. What they need to realize is that you'll be able to be a better friend when you've got your ducks in a row and can think straight.

 

I think sometimes that we're too dependent on one another but then I really get to thinking about it and, at times that's what really keeps us going. Knowing that you have someone there for you is one of the most comforting things in the entire world. Granted, cheesecake at times is more appealing than dumping your problems on someone else but that heavenly dessert is only going to be there for a limited time; a good friend will be there forever. 

I am blessed to have the friends that I do. Some of my friends and I don't talk often, but I know that I can count on any one of them when I need something, anything.

In life I want each of us to find that one thing that makes us happy and hold on to it. Being happy is one of the most important aspects to truly living life. If you haven't yet found that "thing", strive to find it! Having something to look forward to can keep us all going. If at times it seems impossible all you have to do is look back on the times in your life when you thought something else seemed impossible and look at how you got through that. We're all faced with problems and obstacles, but we're meant to get through them. 

Things, especially now with the economy the way it is can seem bleak but there's always that silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel; keep looking for it. 

Happiness. Live. Love. Strive...

Unexpected Visitors

There are few things that I hate more than people who I don't know or don't really like dropping by unexpectedly and it just happened. Two people from my dad's past just, out of no where came to my house and are now chatting it up with my grandma at the dining room table. 

Many of the people that my dad are in his past for a reason and it's better that they are. My dad wasn't always the "poster child" for what a teenager should be, but who really is? Dad is doing really well right now, or as well as can be expected of someone living in today's society. He is getting married next June, he has 2 boys (I'm 20 and graduated and Blaine is a Junior in high school) and a 1-year old girl that is amazing; I would hate to see him get mixed up with the wrong people again. 

One of the people who are here right now I kind of know and she seems like an okay person but the other person I don't ever remember seeing in my entire life. In the beginning of the conversation happening behind me, my grandma had mentioned something about the guy having been in and out of rehab a couple of times and you can TOTALLY tell!!! Two of my cousins are here and I don't really condone having at least one of the people here for that reason alone, but this isn't my house and I really can't say anything. It's not like my cousins are babies but they're still young enough. 

I'm sure that some people reading this won't agree with me because anyone who can come out of rehab and not be doing drugs/drinking right now is someone who should be commended. I understand where you guys would be coming from but I just don't want kids even around people like that unless it is someone who is speaking to a class/group. I have very strong opinions on things (as is well noted in the blogs posted below) and this is one of them; I don't know that anyone will be able to sway me on this. 

I just needed to get this off my chest and since I can't really say anything to anyone else I thought that I'd blog and see if that helps...

Have a great night, kids! :o) 

-Gary