Sometimes I Just Don't Get It

I often find myself thinking of random things throughout the day, but at times I surprise myself by thinking of something on topic. Granted, that topic may have just come up because of something that I just came across, but it's on topic nonetheless.

I know you're not suppposed to judge a book by its cover, but sometimes it's just hard not to. Many times throughout the day I was trying to figure out why some people are attracted to and/or marry the people they do. Some people are just so standoff-ish at times that it just seems impossible that they're not like that all the time. What could have possibly happened in a person's life that they can't even say hello or bring their nose down, stop being a little snob, and join the real world for two seconds when I'm trying to talk to you.

I really do try and be nice to everyone I come across, after all, first impressions make a lasting impression. At least that's how I still see it. Sometimes there are circumstances that you just can't help, but about nine times out of ten, there is no reason you can't be polite to the people around you for the brief moment you have to have contact with them.

After 9/11 this country turned it's attitude around. It seems like we're back on the "piss off, I'm too important to be dealing with you" bandwagon. What's pathetic is that it took an event like that to make people realize that life is too short, yet almost 8 years later, we're back to the way we used to be!

I just there are just some things we're not meant to understand.

The Journey They Call Life

I'm kind of one of those people who want to change, but would like to find the most direct route and just get things done and not have to worry about it. As we all know, the universe has a different plan for us. We simply run on a schedule that no one can control, regardless of how hard he or she may try.

I firmly believe that we were all on this earth (regardless of the individual thoughts on how we got here) for a reason. I believe that we are here to make changes in our own lives and a difference in the lives of others. Each of us can make a difference in someones life whether we know it or not. 

Being gay is taking me on a journey that has just only begun, however, I'm not taking this journey on my own. Obviously I have friends that are going along for the ride with me, but I'm also picking up new passengers along the way. We're all a little different for a reason; maybe I'm "different" to show people that, while we are different, we're all the same. Just because I'm gay and you're straight doesn't mean that we don't want the same things or have the same feelings. 

All of the new people that I encounter along the way, I'm going to be teaching them about my life and they about theirs. We are never too young, old, stupid or smart to learn new things. With every story there is a lesson and with a lesson, a story. The lesson that we can learn from a story that was just told may end up saving a life down the road or helping to point someone in a new direction. We're constantly shedding light on new situations that our friends go through, we should extend that courtesy to our acquaintances and those we may have just met.

At times I may not be the best friend in the world or the easiest person to get along with, but as I'm sitting here reflecting tonight, I've learned something from each and every one of those situations. I'm learning how to change to try and be a better person, but I'm not doing it for anyone else. To change, you have to be willing to do it for yourself. If you constantly try and change for other people you're never going to find that you're any better off than you were yesterday. The only person in your life telling you what to do, what you're doing wrong and how you can change should be you. We spend too much time trying to please everyone else and it doesn't get us anywhere. 

In what is going to be a year of change, I hope that you all find what makes you happy. If finding what makes you happy means that you'll have to change one thing or a million, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. And please, whatever you do, keep telling stories, you never know whose life you could change.

Say Cheese!

I just finished transferring the pictures that I wanted from my laptop to CD before I experience another dramatic event involvng the loss of what I work so hard at. This will be the second time that my current laptop has crashed; neither time have been my fault. This time, I, like so many others, have fallen victim to the IE virus that was put out and infected many, many computers. Unfortunatly for me, the virus was too advanced to do much of anything about it.

Now that I have the pictures saved on something other than my computer, I feel much better. While I don't get the opportunity to go out and shoot pictures often anymore, I cherish the (good) few that I do. As I stated in another blog, this is a year of new beginnings for me. I'm going to try and focus more on my photography and see where it takes me. People aren't given skills for no reason, there is obviously some meaning behind why they have the skills they do. I believe that we each have our own skills, it just takes some time for each of us to find them. Luckily, I found mine early. This may be a year (after Dad's wedding, of course) where I start to take a little more time off from my full-time job to get out and explore the world in a different way. After all, there is so much to see just in the United States; I've got to tackle that before I can move on to bigger and better things abroad. World... Here I come!

Some things in life I will never understand

I am very fortunate in life to have been surrounded by friends who, for the most part, believe in what I do as far as morals go. I have had the occasional friend who didn't, but I'm sure that everyone has. I was reading a blog just before I posted this and this guy was talking about sleeping around and how he was trying to come up w/ excuses for why he was doing it. I realize that life is full of mysteries, but sleeping around is one thing that I will never understand. Does it make people feel better about themselves that someone is willing to tell them whatever they want just so they can have their way w/ them? For me, and this is something that I will never do, it would kind of take the intimacy out of any relationship once you've slept with half of the city. I suppose that some people are going to have one night stands or what have you, but once those ONS's turn in to a new fuck buddy every night, that's where the problem starts. I guess some people really are just a horse of a different color, but I don't think I'll ever understand it...

Time for reflection...

Every so often I believe that people should reflect on what has happened in their life. Now, I've said this many times, my motto is "Live life; no regrets" so sometimes when people reflect they think, "Well, if I hadn't done that..." or "If only I had done that differently...". When I say we should reflect I simply mean thinking about what all you've come through and the things that you've learned from.

Tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I feel it's important to reflect if only to realize what you're thankful for. Too many people take everything for granted; that's a big problem. Of course we're all, at some point in our lives going to take things for granted but it's those who take everything for granted that screw things up for the rest of us. 

I often look back on what has been and then I remind myself that I've overcome all the obstacles that are behind me (which I'm thankful for) and start to look ahead to the future. I know that there are going to be great things in store for me, but at the same time there are going to be hardships that I must get through as well. I truly believe that we're given no more than we can handle. It may seem impossible at times, but look at what you've already come through. 

What are you reflecting on? What are you thankful for?

Just be happy!

I've learned a lot in the past 20 years, there's no doubt about that. One of the things that I've learned that keeps coming back to me is that you can't please everyone. I'm sure there has been a point in every persons life where they've taken a step back and thought about the decision they were about to make and if it would make someone else happy, angry or even sad. 

Keeping in mind that you only get one to live, you can't constantly try and make everyone else happy. Happiness comes from within. If you're constantly trying to work around other people's emotions and push your own aside, can you ever make yourself happy? At the same time it's important to be a good friend but you can't put your feelings on the back burner. Sometimes you need to be able to decide if the problems your friends are coming to you with are really worth you pondering over and putting your life on hold to help them or whether you need to find some way out of helping them. If you're able to do that, which a lot of the time I'm not, some people might see that as you not caring and you're being a bad friend. What they need to realize is that you'll be able to be a better friend when you've got your ducks in a row and can think straight.

 

I think sometimes that we're too dependent on one another but then I really get to thinking about it and, at times that's what really keeps us going. Knowing that you have someone there for you is one of the most comforting things in the entire world. Granted, cheesecake at times is more appealing than dumping your problems on someone else but that heavenly dessert is only going to be there for a limited time; a good friend will be there forever. 

I am blessed to have the friends that I do. Some of my friends and I don't talk often, but I know that I can count on any one of them when I need something, anything.

In life I want each of us to find that one thing that makes us happy and hold on to it. Being happy is one of the most important aspects to truly living life. If you haven't yet found that "thing", strive to find it! Having something to look forward to can keep us all going. If at times it seems impossible all you have to do is look back on the times in your life when you thought something else seemed impossible and look at how you got through that. We're all faced with problems and obstacles, but we're meant to get through them. 

Things, especially now with the economy the way it is can seem bleak but there's always that silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel; keep looking for it. 

Happiness. Live. Love. Strive...